The Equalizer

Want to know that the equalizer in an argument with your spouse is?

No, it's not this guy. Read on to find out.

"Talk to me like you talk to those folks on your job."

This one single sentence was offered as a piece of advise during one of my trips to the barbershop.

That's an "equalizer" in an argument my barber told me. It puts a halt to anyone who's disrespectful or says something that they shouldn't in a marital spat.

Because when you think about it, we often tend to talk to our coworkers with more respect than we do our spouses in a heated argument (well some of us do).

I know for me, the worst feeling in the world is to say something that I should not have during an argument with my wife. Once you say it, it stays out there forever. You can't take it back and the results can be devastating in the marriage and for your life.

But, what if - just what if, we were to take the approach to have discussions with our spouses as if it was a business meeting. We could iron out potential conflicts that would arise from disrespectful words and name calling.

I think the phrase needs repeating:

"Talk to me like you talk to those folks on your job."

The forgotten ones

You're 55-years-old. You've worked at a factory since your 20s. You just find out that you're going to lose your job because it's cheaper for the plant to manufacture it's products overseas.

What do you do?

People throughout the U.S. are living through this scenario everyday. I call them the forgotten ones, or the ones that fall through the cracks whenever lawmakers try to attack the job problem.

The issue here, is that you have a class of blue collar worker, who's not quite ready to retire, that has limited marketability. What job can this person do, that will adequately support them, and that they're qualified to do?

You see these kinds of workers in small towns throughout America. They are simply at a point where it doesn't really make sense to go back and get years of training to move onto another specialty. They need employment now and they need good quality jobs that can help them pay the bills.

These forgotten ones need to be addressed when President Obama reveals his jobs package he's set to unroll in a post-Labor Day speech. After all these workers have been the backbone of our country.

What ever happened to the strong black matriarchs?

Somewhere along the line in African American culture, the strong matriarch that held the family together through thick and thin was lost.

Yes, that strong beacon of hope has disappeared in the community with many left wondering - where she went?

In the age of self gratification and in a culture where we are constantly trying to look young and sexy, that great matriarch, who worked until her elbows were swollen and callouses were so thick you could cut them with a switch blade off her feet, simply got tired of carrying the heavy load.

She no longer cooked all day Saturday, because that was the day she would get her hair and nails done plus go to the mall. Church wasn't as high a priority, because she worked all week long and she was going to have her rest day.

She no longer cooked things that were fresh out of the garden. She traded that in for fast food joints and takeout.

For years the great matriarch made sacrifices through blood sweat and tears for her children. But now she is tired and she wants a better life.

And why shouldn't she be? After all, the strong patriarch, that use to exist had long left her. Too busy or immature to stick around in the household, he left the matriarch with all the responsibility.

For years she busted her butt and had no support, with no one to lean on. Children have grown up to be unappreciative; she has had to fight tooth and nail to keep them out of trouble.

It's only fair that she sits out a couple of generations and takes a break right? I mean wouldn't you?