Keeping Malachi

This past weekend my wife and daughter went to visit family in South Carolina, leaving me alone with my one-year-old son, Malachi. It's significant because this was my first time watching him by myself  over an extended amount of time.

In the past, I have watched my daughter, Grace, who is 4, with my son for an entire weekend, and I have even traveled with both of them by myself. But to keep my son... with no other sibling as a playmate (distraction)... for a weekend -  well that was a task in itself.

When I first pitched the idea to my wife I said it would be a breeze. I joked to her, I'm gonna 'learn em' about what a man does this weekend.  But nothing could be further from the truth.

My brave proclamation was shot down almost immediately, when Malachi refused to eat the specially prepared breakfast I cooked for him. He began pointing away from his food and at the chocolate muffin bread my wife baked prior to her South Carolina sojourn.

Malachi eat your biscuit and eat your eggs. He began shoeing my hand away after each attempt. Then the tears came. After the tenth attempt and tears from both of us, I caved in and gave him the chocolate bread.

Since it was raining we were mostly confined to the house for the whole weekend. Malachi began a 5-room reign of terror, where he began emptying out the contents of the desks and cabinets in various rooms.

No, that belongs to your sister I yelled! No, that's your mother's crochet yarn, you can't play with that! Not the iPad! That's expensive!

After he calmed down a bit, then it was time for a nap. Malachi did not want to sleep. I put him in his crib thinking he would cry himself into his mid afternoon slumber, but instead as soon as I left the room I heard a huge thud! Malachi had jumped out of the crib and was on the run.

I gave in and let him stay up. We listened to music; played in the rain; played ball; caught colds; and watched wrestling on the WWE network! In that time I think he bumped his head 5 times, fell about three, and kneed me in the groin six times.  He even learned how to cut the vacuum on.  Oh and he kept refusing to eat his food!

Suffice to say when his mother and sister came home I was extremely happy. And I discovered it wasn't me 'learning' Malachi how to be a man, but the other way around. Yup. I'm a better man because of this weekend. Thanks Malachi.

Oprah Develops Megachurch Drama

As Oprah Winfrey is continuing her push into developing scripted programming for OWN, her next foray is sure to raise a few eyebrows. You see this time it's going to be a drama with the backdrop being a megachurch. The name of the show is called Greenleaf, and follows the lives of a prominent African-American family in the ministry.

 Doesn't sound too bad right? What could be so controversial or eyebrow raising about that? Well once I read a brief summary of the show, I had to pause and just shake my head.

Here's a brief description:

“Like so many megachurches in America, Greenleaf World Ministries is more than just a house of worship. It’s a home. It’s the center of the community for the thousands of predominantly African-American members who attend services there.  But beneath its steeple lies a den of iniquity — greed, adultery, sibling rivalry and conflicting values — a multigenerational matrix of deception that involves the church’s founding family, but also extends to the congregation and prominent members of the Memphis community and beyond. Yet, amidst all of the mayhem and deception, the power of something greater persists, calling everyone to conscience for their sins.”

 Greed? Adultery? Just wow!

I'm wondering how this will be taken, particularly by fellow Christians. I'm going to go on record and say I'm not in favor of the premise behind the show.  I know that I'm going to sound a bit hypocritical here, because I have watched dramas like Empire - which takes on some of those same themes - but just in the music industry.

Perhaps it's because of my faith; perhaps it's because my wife has worked at a church in the past; perhaps because I think it's OK as long as these themes are discussed somewhere else; whatever the reason might be, there's something unsettling to me about a show that portrays the church in a negative light. Somethings I feel should be left alone. Church scandals...meh, I'll pass.

But apparently, it seems like Winfrey is really getting behind this one. She will even have a reoccurring role on the show. The ensemble cast also includes Keith David, Lynne Whitfield, Lamman Rucker, Deborah Joy Winans, Tye White, Kim Hawthorne and Desiree Ross.

Greenleaf is slated to premiere in 2016. Sorry, I don't think I'll be tuning into this one.

Black fathers do stick around

A few weeks ago, I was in the park with my children and I came across a young father guiding his son ever-so-cautiously through the monkey bars. We briefly looked at one another and did a silent nod in agreement.

"That's what's up," he finally said in a monotone voice. The kid couldn't be any older than 21. But we instantly knew that we were two African American males breaking stereotypes surrounding black fathers. More often than not black fathers are stepping up and becoming a stronger component in their children's lives.

A CDC surveyed more than 3,900 fathers between 2006 and 2010 and found that black fathers were more likely to bathe, dress, play and dine with their children as compared to their White and Hispanic counterparts. 

It's a stark contrast from the biased reports that black fathers don't care or don't really take care of  their children. Most of my friends are great fathers - regardless if they're divorced, married or not even in relationships with the mother of the child. They're good men who walk with their sons and daughters every step of the way.

I get upset whenever we see the amazing (note my sarcasm) stories of men who have fathered 20 and 34 children and are treated like the norm. These men talk about putting in time with their children, but real fathers know how hard it is to spend the appropriate amount of time with just one child.

Thankfully, that's not the norm and there are numerous black fathers who care about their children and love them unconditionally.