I'm a black male and I grew up in one of the most impoverished and racially charged areas of South Carolina. By all accounts, I shouldn't be where I am today. I shouldn't be married to the mother of my children and be a successful journalist. Some might call me a guy that's bucking the statistic. Or a modern day Superman in a sense. At least that's what I feel like I am, when I discuss my family and my background to others.
But I'm no Superman. Far from it.
I began thinking this after I took an honest inventory of my life and the people that were in it. An intense conversation with someone made me question my life and my writing ability. Am I really making a difference? What am I here for, and why, oh why do I continue to hold onto the abusive situations (kryptonite) in my life.
I know it's probably strange to hear (read) a guy talk about stuff like this, but to be honest more of us need to. See many black males buy into the narrative that we aren't allowed to feel emotions or get tired. There is an untold pride in being this invincible archetype that can withstand the blows and emotional strikes of a racially charged America. At the same time, we have to continue to take those criticisms and maintain our cool when put in demeaning and degrading situations.
We have the power to move mountains, yet for the greater good we pacify our abilities and strength to keep the peace and maintain positive relationships.
But can I be honest with you. I'm tired. I'm tired of holding up everything on three shoulders (even if I only have two). I'm tired of taking the punches and the blows of emotionally tiring situations and relationships. Quite frankly, this Superman just wants to be able to rest.
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