Relationship Rant #632

About a month ago, one of my friends broke up with a woman that he had been in a longterm relationship with.

After the break up he through up his hands and made a fateful proclamation - "I'm tired of trying to love these women. From now on, I only want one thing."

Sadly my friend's proclamation is one that can be heard from husbands throughout households across the country. If you listen closely - probably in unison too.

I think the issue is that many women bring in a great deal of emotional baggage that men are not equipped or prepared to deal with. See a lot of men see the world in black and white.

We think if we hold down a good job; provide for our families and stay faithful - then that's it. But women need, want and desire more. Unfortunately that more sometimes manifests itself in anger when it is not given. 

It's not that men are unable to give, it's that they simply don't know how. Some would relish the opportunity for their wives to tell them - hey this bothers me because ....

How many arguements over hanging the towel up the wrong way; or washing dishes could be avoided if wives would just open up and tell their husbands why it means so much to them? Many loving husbands would jump at the opportunity to be able to love their wives and relate to them on a stronger level.

Women just open up.

NCLB gets suspended in 10 states

Here's an item that flew under the radar these past few weeks.

President Obama has released 10 states from the mandates of No Child Left Behind. One of those states is Georgia. If you recall Georgia - specifically the Atlanta Public School System, came under fire in the last few years for numerous cheating activities.

The climate of cheating was spurred on by the rigorous demands of NCLB. NCLB, which was instituted back in 2001, requires all government-run schools receiving federal funding to administer a state-wide standardized test (all students take the same test under the same conditions) annually to all students. The students' scores are used to determine whether the school has taught the students well. If the school's results are repeatedly poor, then a series of steps are taken to improve the school.

Here's the kicker to NCLB. Each year the schools must see significant improvement, or they run the risk of losing funding or at the worst, possibly being taken over by the state. The problem is, some of the school systems already max out their improvement. They're scoring well on the tests - but they aren't scoring well enough to show significant strides in improvement. This has cost districts significant resources!!!!

Back in July of 2011, I asked the question, is NCLB a factor in the rampant cheating scandal involving the Atlanta Public Schools. It seems as if some agree with me with this recent turn of events.

But the question now is, how will all this shakedown - and will we see more school systems across the country opt out of NCLB before long?

Straighten it our before you get married

A couple of weeks ago, I went over to an old college buddy's house, and found him playing a video game on his laptop. His wife came out and greeted him in loving manner and then went back upstairs to get some of her work done.

I was shocked. I was shocked because a lot of my friend's spouses aren't that receptive when it comes to them playing video games or having down time that doesn't totally involve the family.

So, I immediately asked my friend what the secret was, and his reply was golden.

"I got all that straightened out before I got married."

So simple, yet it makes sense.

How often do we "lie" or not fully tell the truth about ourselves when we're dating, and then when we get married our cover ups blow up in our face.

My buddy is a hardcore gamer and his wife knew the exact extent of his gaming prowess. Some gamers, like myself, never fully reveal the extent to which we will play video games, which can be quite troubling for our spouses.

What happens is, that we sacrifice something that is important to us - to keep the peace- but we grow resentful.

I think at some key, core level, we really don't want our spouse to see the side that might not be perceived as cool or interesting.

The Enemy

As I was walking into church on Sunday, a cold chill went up my spine.

You're going to die alone, a voice whispered to me. You won't have any friends or any family around and you're going to die alone.

As I got inside the church and looked at all the couples around, and people with their children, I felt like there was more validity to this than just a simple premonition.

I truly felt alone. I felt like my family was not going to be there anywhere close to me, and I felt like I would never truly bond with my daughter.

My doubts - my issues - all felt like they were bubbling to the surface, and that they would prevent me from having any type of happiness.

But the enemy often tries to use doubt and fear as paralyzing agents. He uses whatever weapon he can to separate you from God.

I always have to remember, life has a way of kicking you down; God has a way of keeping you up.

Confused Christian seeking understanding

I'm not a member of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church.

I've never attended the church in Dekalb County, and I've never met its leader - Bishop Eddie Long.

But that doesn't change the fact that as a Christian man, I'm concerned confused over what's happening with at the church and with Bishop Long. Ever since the sexual misconduct allegations started for Bishop Long, he and his church have made headlines here in Atlanta.

Just last week, a story said that Bishop Long's wife, who had filed for divorce, has decided not to leave him. There has been a great deal of back and forth on this issue and the media has reported each decision and each statement that has come out of Long's camp regarding this situation.

But that's not why I'm writing. I'm writing because, believe it or not, my faith is a bit shaken - not in God. No, instead my faith is shaken over church leadership.

After all the news on Bishop Long, which continues to mount every other week, I just don't think that I can blindly trust church leadership anymore. Maybe I never was suppose to. Or maybe, I'm just confused and seeking understanding.

Bishop Eddie Long & Youtube

Last week, Bishop Eddie Long entered the realm of controversy yet again, when the Atlanta Journal Constitution broke a story about him taking part in a religious ceremony that saw the enigmatic figure crowned as some sort of king by a Jewish minister.

The 14-minute long video posted to youtube, drew much criticism from the Jewsish community, and even eventually led to an apology from Bishop Long. It's also leading to an investigatory piece that will be covered by WSBTV in Atlanta later on today around 5 p.m.

What is so interesting about this, is the fact that the News Media continue to build stories off of what happens in the pulpit on Sunday's from this church. They often get their material from youtube postings of the sermons and services.

If you recall, an article discussing World Changer's Pastor Creflo Dollar and his "support" (I'll let you decide if this was such) of Bishop Long, was published in the AJC last year, just based off of a video uploaded to youtube. The video was taken off of youtube shortly after the story was published in the AJC.

What is becoming increasingly apparent, is that pastors no longer have the same impunity to say what they want in the pulpit without facing a significant amount of criticism from the media. It doesn't matter if you find the video offensive or not (many have), the fact is, messages that were once behind closed doors are now being exposed to the world.

I think Chrisitan leaders need to take heed to this, and make sure what they're doing in these times, really lines up with God's message.