Are men really lazy in relationships?

Men are lazy.

That seems to be the crux of the argument that the opposite sex has against many men these days. But is it an entirely fair assumption?

My answer is going to be no. It isn’t. See the problem is that we are in an age where women are more independent now and they are often achieving more than many of their male counterparts.

The problem is, women who are in this position still hold fast to, or at least subscribe to the notion that their significant other should be able to obtain just as much, if not more than she has.

In other words, these men are being judged by standards far higher than what they have personally achieved. The chance to organically grow into these goals as a couple has been tremendously diminished because women are doing more with their opportunities to achieve success. Men for whatever reason are falling behind.

Here is the sad reality, men are often in a position of playing catch up, and that’s hurting relationships.  

Is it over for Herman Cain?

Herman Cain is doing an admirable thing by talking to his wife before he decides to make a decision on whether to continue with his presidential campaign.

But I have to ask myself, just a mere 24 hours away from his announcement - is this it for the Cain Train.

Cain has come out publicly and said the negative publicity has hindered some fund raising efforts, but it doesn't seem to have completely derailed the Cain Train.

Look, I won't go over the allegations - they have been well documented in the press, what I will say is this. Cain seems to have spent the majority of his time fighting these allegations than actually tackling the issues and his campaign.

Is it even worth it at this point? Is he completely distracted from doing what it takes to secure the Republican nomination? Is it over for Cain?

What do Women Want?

A few days ago I asked a few female acquaintances the question - "What do Women Want."

I did this because I've noticed a lot of frustration in relationships - especially with many women feeling men aren't pulling their weight in the household. The conflict comes in because many men feel as if they are pulling their weight and don't understand why women get upset with them. Which often leads to this:

So now you have the set up. The responses were a bit all over the place - but I was able to boil them down in just a couple of sentences.

Women want to be understood and loved on an emotional level, no matter what they’re going through or what phase of life they’re in.

The friction comes when her mate no longer understands her and that translates into her not feeling loved. Unfortunately, there isn’t a list that she can provide for him nor is there some universal answer that applies to all women.

What ever happened to the strong black matriarchs?

Somewhere along the line in African American culture, the strong matriarch that held the family together through thick and thin was lost.

Yes, that strong beacon of hope has disappeared in the community with many left wondering - where she went?

In the age of self gratification and in a culture where we are constantly trying to look young and sexy, that great matriarch, who worked until her elbows were swollen and callouses were so thick you could cut them with a switch blade off her feet, simply got tired of carrying the heavy load.

She no longer cooked all day Saturday, because that was the day she would get her hair and nails done plus go to the mall. Church wasn't as high a priority, because she worked all week long and she was going to have her rest day.

She no longer cooked things that were fresh out of the garden. She traded that in for fast food joints and takeout.

For years the great matriarch made sacrifices through blood sweat and tears for her children. But now she is tired and she wants a better life.

And why shouldn't she be? After all, the strong patriarch, that use to exist had long left her. Too busy or immature to stick around in the household, he left the matriarch with all the responsibility.

For years she busted her butt and had no support, with no one to lean on. Children have grown up to be unappreciative; she has had to fight tooth and nail to keep them out of trouble.

It's only fair that she sits out a couple of generations and takes a break right? I mean wouldn't you?

Government Assistance, would you take it?

During a recent visit to my barber, I marveled at how he and his wife were able to afford a five bedroom home - complete with a studio - while having seven children.

I just wanted to know how he was able to obtain this and what secrets did he have for managing money, so that I could perhaps gain some insight.

The answer wasn't what I thought at all. Apparently my barber and his wife had a voucher to live in Section 8 Housing and were paying next to nothing in housing. They were also getting assistance to help raise their children.

Now, I have nothing against anyone getting help from the government, or entitlement programs, but sometimes it makes you upset with the people that abuse these programs.

"I work for mine" is a popular saying that I often here from the opponents of such programs. But is it staunch dislike, or jealousy that they aren't able to get this type of assistance.

What if those not getting assistance suddenly had the opportunity to get it? Would they accept it, or would they turn it down. Interestingly enough I believe that some would indeed take it and perhaps engage in some of the behaviors of people that abuse it.

It's easy to criticize and say what we won't do, but who can tell what will happen until the opportunity to take action comes up?

Be the wife of his youth

There comes a point in time nearly every married man's life when he realizes that he didn't marry his girlfriend ... he married his wife.

Now this isn't to say that these are two different people. No, they are one in the same. But for a wife the stakes in life are higher and there are a great deal of expectations that go along with the new path that both are about to embark on.

The girlfriend remains that optimistic female, full of youth and vigor, not yet scarred by the ups and downs of the relationship or difficulties that life has thrown in the couple's way.

The girlfriend is chaotic pleasure and a thrill ride of excitement. A wife is responsibility and order to a once carefree lifestyle.

Is it any wonder why Proverbs 5:18 speaks of being with the wife of your youth.

Yet husbands often forget all that a woman goes through. The emotional cycles, pregnancies, child birth (two different things), aging and watching the children grow up - these are all things that profoundly impact a wife's outlook on life.

But while husbands should be mindful of these changes, wives should be mindful as well.

Husbands still want that woman of adventure and kindness. They want that woman who melts in their arms and supports them despite any mistakes or misgivings they might have made over the years.

So I ask the wives this, are you ready to be the wife of his youth?

Why are some women so angry?

For nearly 15 minutes, an older woman, who was waiting to board the bus, argued with someone over the phone.

Her eyes were bloodshot red, and she was drenched in sweat. But that did not deter her from getting her point across to the person on the other line. I don't remember exactly what she said, but the words were too harsh to repeat here.

I wonder what made her get so upset. She was angry to the point that all reason was abandoned and all dignity was pushed to the side. She was making a public spectacle out of herself, but any fear of that was quickly washed aside.

How many women lose their tempers like this, going to the point of no return, I wonder? What causes them to get so angry, so fast? I know some might say a no good man. But to that I have to remember what a pastor once said a few years back.

"People can give you the opportunity to be angry, but no one can make you that way. It's your choice."

Pretty deep. Some women seem to take out or vent all their frustrations out in public and in a way that not only makes them look bad, but is demeaning to the person they're talking too.

So why do some women take the opportunity to revel in this anger? I'm curious to see what you all think.