The Equalizer

Want to know that the equalizer in an argument with your spouse is?

No, it's not this guy. Read on to find out.

"Talk to me like you talk to those folks on your job."

This one single sentence was offered as a piece of advise during one of my trips to the barbershop.

That's an "equalizer" in an argument my barber told me. It puts a halt to anyone who's disrespectful or says something that they shouldn't in a marital spat.

Because when you think about it, we often tend to talk to our coworkers with more respect than we do our spouses in a heated argument (well some of us do).

I know for me, the worst feeling in the world is to say something that I should not have during an argument with my wife. Once you say it, it stays out there forever. You can't take it back and the results can be devastating in the marriage and for your life.

But, what if - just what if, we were to take the approach to have discussions with our spouses as if it was a business meeting. We could iron out potential conflicts that would arise from disrespectful words and name calling.

I think the phrase needs repeating:

"Talk to me like you talk to those folks on your job."

The forgotten ones

You're 55-years-old. You've worked at a factory since your 20s. You just find out that you're going to lose your job because it's cheaper for the plant to manufacture it's products overseas.

What do you do?

People throughout the U.S. are living through this scenario everyday. I call them the forgotten ones, or the ones that fall through the cracks whenever lawmakers try to attack the job problem.

The issue here, is that you have a class of blue collar worker, who's not quite ready to retire, that has limited marketability. What job can this person do, that will adequately support them, and that they're qualified to do?

You see these kinds of workers in small towns throughout America. They are simply at a point where it doesn't really make sense to go back and get years of training to move onto another specialty. They need employment now and they need good quality jobs that can help them pay the bills.

These forgotten ones need to be addressed when President Obama reveals his jobs package he's set to unroll in a post-Labor Day speech. After all these workers have been the backbone of our country.

What ever happened to the strong black matriarchs?

Somewhere along the line in African American culture, the strong matriarch that held the family together through thick and thin was lost.

Yes, that strong beacon of hope has disappeared in the community with many left wondering - where she went?

In the age of self gratification and in a culture where we are constantly trying to look young and sexy, that great matriarch, who worked until her elbows were swollen and callouses were so thick you could cut them with a switch blade off her feet, simply got tired of carrying the heavy load.

She no longer cooked all day Saturday, because that was the day she would get her hair and nails done plus go to the mall. Church wasn't as high a priority, because she worked all week long and she was going to have her rest day.

She no longer cooked things that were fresh out of the garden. She traded that in for fast food joints and takeout.

For years the great matriarch made sacrifices through blood sweat and tears for her children. But now she is tired and she wants a better life.

And why shouldn't she be? After all, the strong patriarch, that use to exist had long left her. Too busy or immature to stick around in the household, he left the matriarch with all the responsibility.

For years she busted her butt and had no support, with no one to lean on. Children have grown up to be unappreciative; she has had to fight tooth and nail to keep them out of trouble.

It's only fair that she sits out a couple of generations and takes a break right? I mean wouldn't you?

FBGW: Fender Bender Gone Wrong

Earlier yesterday, I was waiting at the bus stop getting ready for a long day at work. All of a sudden I heard screeching and saw an SUV rear end another vehicle.

A man of thin build emerged from the SUV. An older woman was in the car that was rear ended. The man, who was visibly upset, approached the woman and apologized.

"I"m so sorry," he said. "I'm so sorry."

What came next took everyone by surprise. The visibly distraught man then ran out in the middle of the road, flagging down nearby cars. He then ran against the flow of traffic and squatted on a nearby hill.

As he did this, a group of school children were waiting on the bus. Terrified they began running and screaming when the man dove face first into the ground at them.

From that point, I sprung into action. I carefully rounded the kids up and helped guide them down the street so they could catch the bus at an earlier point in the route.

I flagged the bus driver down and told her what was going on and the children safely got on the bus.

By the time I returned to the scene of the crime, a police officer had already subdued the visibly upset man.

Traffic was to a standstill and onlookers were shocked by what had happened.

I myself was a babbling idiot. Pumped full of adrenaline.... By the time I reached work I was already coming down and about near the point where I was comatose.

Pretty interesting morning.

Bishop Long's accusers speak out after settlement

Apparently two of Bishop Eddie Long's accusers are speaking out even after they settled with the embattled minister earlier this year.

Jamal Parris and Spencer LeGrande have come forward and a piece has been aired on Channel 2 Action News. You can see more of the story by clicking here.

What is puzzling about this is that by speaking out, Parris and LeGrande risk losing undisclosed monetary rewards outlined in the settlement, which is sealed.

It's also very telling that these two men are doing this and in the O.A.W. Report's view it quite possibly shows that they are more interested in keeping this conflict alive than settling on the money. Perhaps it is for some measure of revealing the truth; perhaps it is for therapy, or maybe it's for both reasons, that is unclear.

The O.A.W. Report has spoken briefly about the subject of Bishop Long and really hasn't ever taken it on directly ... until now.

Even though legal documents say that this is settled, clearly it isn't. When two of the accusers are willing to risk their settlement to go into detail about what Bishop Long allegedly did to them, it shows that this whole saga is going to go into a different realm.

It's clear that there is pain here, and there is more pain to come, especially after this piece airs later on today. It will be painful because it picks open a wound that has barely had time to scab up, let alone heal.

New Birth is coming under attack because of this, and it might be time for the church and Bishop Long to come to some terms where he can step down for a bit until this cools down, or until it is resolved.

But it can't just cool down. Recent events have shown us this.

News reports still have been streaming in, since news broke on the settlement at the end of May. In late July, a 5th accuser was revealed, a man by the name of Centino Kemp. One of New Birth's elder's Bernice King, the youngest daughter of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. left the church shortly after news of the settlement was announced. (She said that the two weren't connected but you can read that story here.)

Look, at some point this has to end and it might be best for all involved if Bishop Long could step down until all this is sorted out. If not, then how much longer will the stories continue and serve as distractions for God's word?

When Subway comes to town

Recently, a Subway opened up in Buckhead. Now while that might not seem like big news or something worth talking about - it really kinda is.

For the past week throngs have descended upon the sand which shoppe with lines long enough to almost stretch out of the door. What's more important, is that it looks like it could be taking away customers from some of the more established eateries on the corner.

So why is Subway winning with the lunchtime Buckhead crowd? Quite simple, it's a healthier alternative and it's the new shiny toy that many are playing with now.

It's a pricey toy, as a filling meal cost a little more than 9 bucks for me (ouch). But lunch goers are willing to pay for that, as Subway represents the mecca of all healthy eating. Does anyone remember Jared?

So healthy lunch eaters in Buckhead can rejoice. They have a new option. Now if only they could leave the vending machines in their offices alone.

Limited resources limit immigration law enforcement

A few months back Georgia adopted an aggressive law to crack down on illegal immigrants. Since that time, throngs of protests have occurred, as well as many people moving back to their home countries.

This seems to be entirely different from what the Federal government announced this week.

According to a report from the Associated Press, federal officials say they have limited resources for detaining and deporting illegal immigrants and are focusing on expelling violent criminals and those who pose threats to national security.

They said they are now giving special consideration to illegal immigrants who were brought here as children, high school graduates and others who served or are serving in the U.S. military.

This stark contrast could give a huge boost to those opposing the law here in Georgia. But to be fair, their have been questions on how law enforcement could even carry out these laws due to limited resources.

It will be interesting to see if anything else comes out of this news.

Government Assistance, would you take it?

During a recent visit to my barber, I marveled at how he and his wife were able to afford a five bedroom home - complete with a studio - while having seven children.

I just wanted to know how he was able to obtain this and what secrets did he have for managing money, so that I could perhaps gain some insight.

The answer wasn't what I thought at all. Apparently my barber and his wife had a voucher to live in Section 8 Housing and were paying next to nothing in housing. They were also getting assistance to help raise their children.

Now, I have nothing against anyone getting help from the government, or entitlement programs, but sometimes it makes you upset with the people that abuse these programs.

"I work for mine" is a popular saying that I often here from the opponents of such programs. But is it staunch dislike, or jealousy that they aren't able to get this type of assistance.

What if those not getting assistance suddenly had the opportunity to get it? Would they accept it, or would they turn it down. Interestingly enough I believe that some would indeed take it and perhaps engage in some of the behaviors of people that abuse it.

It's easy to criticize and say what we won't do, but who can tell what will happen until the opportunity to take action comes up?

Be the wife of his youth

There comes a point in time nearly every married man's life when he realizes that he didn't marry his girlfriend ... he married his wife.

Now this isn't to say that these are two different people. No, they are one in the same. But for a wife the stakes in life are higher and there are a great deal of expectations that go along with the new path that both are about to embark on.

The girlfriend remains that optimistic female, full of youth and vigor, not yet scarred by the ups and downs of the relationship or difficulties that life has thrown in the couple's way.

The girlfriend is chaotic pleasure and a thrill ride of excitement. A wife is responsibility and order to a once carefree lifestyle.

Is it any wonder why Proverbs 5:18 speaks of being with the wife of your youth.

Yet husbands often forget all that a woman goes through. The emotional cycles, pregnancies, child birth (two different things), aging and watching the children grow up - these are all things that profoundly impact a wife's outlook on life.

But while husbands should be mindful of these changes, wives should be mindful as well.

Husbands still want that woman of adventure and kindness. They want that woman who melts in their arms and supports them despite any mistakes or misgivings they might have made over the years.

So I ask the wives this, are you ready to be the wife of his youth?

Was it really that serious

You have to be cautious about what you say, because it could get you killed.

That's what was going through my mind when I heard about the story of two gunman who opened fire on a Philadelphia bus back n June. You can see the story here.

Apparently, according to various news sources, one of the male passengers was criticizing the way a woman was disciplining her son on the bus. As the news stories would tell it, the woman made a phone call, and when she got off the bus, police say she was met by the brother of the father of her son. The mother allegedly pointed at the male passenger that complained about her disciplining her.

Media outlets then say that two men approached the bus armed with weapons and fired 13 shots at the passengers. The good news is no one was injured.

The bad news is - that something so simple could push a person to get so angry that they would do something like this. Was this man's criticisms on this woman's child rearing serious enough that someone needed to endanger a bus full of people?

What does this say about these young men that attempted to do the shooting. Pure insanity. That's the only thing I can make of it.

Here is some footage of the ordeal.

Is Starbucks scaling back laptop users access to its WiFi?

When is the last time you saw someone with a laptop make a hefty purchase at Starbucks. Some people just use it as a virtual office, setting up shop and taking advantage of its free WiFi.

Well, rumor has it that Starbucks will soon be limiting access to its WiFi service. You can read more about these salient details here. The company hasn't come out and publicly said that they are going to do this however.

I think that if this is true then it is a step in the right right direction, but I don't see how this will translate into dollars for the coffee house giant. Perhaps the company should charge a small fee for people to access their WiFi. No more than 10 bucks - for an entire day's usage.

Then I think, the company will see some profits soar, instead of the plethora of people that come, sit down and set up a lease free office.

The Millennium Spouse

One of the most important wars being waged right now isn't on some foreign battlefield, rather its in households across the U.S., and the fight is between husbands and wives.

According to statistics presented by divorcerate.org, the divorce rate in the U.S. for first time marriages is 41%. It goes on to say that the divorce rate in America for a second marriage is 60% and for a third marriage it is 73%.

Why are these marriages ending? Well there are lots of reasons, but I really want to offer up this as one potential reason. The unfulfilled expectations of these so-called Millennium men and Women.

I'm specifically referring to those individuals that have a distorted view of their spouse's role in the marriage. All too often these individuals heap on unrealistic expectations that their spouse is unable to fulfill or meet.

Consider this. A man comes home from work after an eight or nine hour shift an discovers that his wife, who is a stay at home mom hasn't prepared a meal. When he enters the door he is furious with his wife because she has had all this time on her hands and she has not prepared a anything for him (not just the family, but him) to eat.

On the flip side, she is equally upset with him because he's not considering all she has gone through with the children and with the upkeep of the house.

Now this is a classic conflict, but where do these Millennium men and women attitudes really come into play. They happen when this period of behavior or conflict happens repeatedly.

It happens when the husband always constantly expects a cooked meal without taking into consideration what his wife has done, and when the wife always uses taking care of the children and the household as an excuse in not preparing a meal.

The two each have an unfulfilled and unrealistic expectation.

In the old days, we were taught that our parents went to work and hardly ever complained about the little things in front of us. They worked 12 hours shifts at times and were still able to take care of the children. A hot meal was provided every night and the husband was able to provide a steady and hefty paycheck to support all the family's needs. He never missed a day of work because he was sick and he was always the consummate provider.

In this new age however, we often look at those models as what we want in our spouse, but we are unable to truly follow these models for ourselves. There is no give and take. We just want to take, which causes the Millennium man or woman attitudes to come into play.

Read the Fine Print

The Associated Press is reporting that President Obama along with Republican leaders in the House and Senate have reached an agreement to raise the government's debt ceiling to avoid the country going into default. YES!!!! Yippee!!!!

The AP also reported that the spending cuts will reduce government spending to the lowest level it has been since when Dwight Eisenhower was president in the 1950s. Yes!!!! Yippee!!!!

The report goes on to say that there will be no initial(what) cuts to entitlement programs like Social Security and Medicare. But the AP reports that the President is saying both could be on the table along with changes in tax law as part of future cuts (whaaatttt).

This last paragraph sans my editorial comment should have people who're receiving these benefits on edge. At anytime they could get a wake up call that their checks are subject to a hefty reduction. A lot of these people are on a fixed incomes and such a reduction or change could be detrimental to them at this point.

So while America might be cheering this on as definite progress, many need to realize that they aren't out of the lurch yet.