Beneath the Surface with: 2012 Presidential Eelection

It's been a maddening game of  hot potato for Republican Presidential candidates lately.

We have seen the rise and fall of Rick Perry; the implosion of Herman Cain's campaign due to sexual harrassment claims that are over a decade old; and we're seeing Newt Gingrich, who has more political baggage than anyone on the planet, taking the forefront.

Yup the Republican party is in a state of flux and doesn't have a clear front runner at the moment.

With all this scandal, and candidates stumbling to remember things, you would think that Mitt Romney could put this to bed pretty quickly.

But for whatever reason, he can't. It says a lot that Gingrich is seeing a rise in the polls. People are getting off the Cain train and seeking what they perceive the next viable candidate.

You would think that would be Romney - but alas the thought of Gingrich seems more appealing to the voters.

Perry seems to have been a flash in the pan; forgotten way before the infamous CNBC debate earlier this month.

The other candidates are just there and really haven't gained any solid traction (here's looking at you Michelle Bachmann).

Whatever the case - President's Obama's claims that he's the underdog in this election seem far-fetched.

I really don't think he has anything to fear from this crop of Republican candidates. But only time will tell.

Beneath the Surface with: Love & Hip Hop

The women of VH1's Love & Hip Hop

A couple of weeks ago during a trip to my mother-in-law's home, I was exposed to VH1's Love & Hip Hop - a reality television show that revolves around several rappers significant others.

Despite fisticuffs and enough bad language to make a sailor blush, the show managed to pique my interest. Instead of looking at it as another Housewives show, I saw it as a peak behind the curtain of a multi-million dollar industry that is losing the prominence it once held back in the 90s.

What I found so interesting was the stark reality and scrutiny that the women of the show face - on a regular basis. When the rappers on the show did something scandalous that hit the tabloids, you could immediately see how it impacted their families.

In a sense you got the idea that some of the females on the show were walking on the edge, just waiting for the nearest scandal or story to break.

An example of this was during the first episode of Season two, when Chrissy Lampkin, the fiance of Jim Jones, was bracing herself after she received a call informing her about a controversial piece in World Star Hip Hop.Com.

Chrissy's voice was a bit shaky as she was wondering what Jim had done now. It was a powerful piece of drama. Imagine being engaged to someone who is part of an industry that largely promotes everything except monogamy.

You dread each phone call. You clutch your chest each time you're online and see something about your significant other. This show - if you can get past the fisticuffs and cattiness - is really an intimate look at the price of fame.

Reality of a Sleep Deprived Dad

After a long hard day at the office, there's nothing better that I would like to come home to than a hot meal to be shared around the dinner table with my family and a nice nightcap with my wife.

Unfortunately that doesn't happen.

What does happen is, I usually have dinner with me when I'm at work - it takes so long to get to the apartment complex, that my former personal trainer would skin me alive if I was to even take a bite of food when I reached home. 

My daughter Grace is usually hitting REM sleep. My wife is less than energized after a day of diaper changes; wardrobe changes; washing clothes; preparing meals; grocery shopping; and cooking.

When I get home I have dishes to wash, the dog to take out; and milk bottles to wash.

In fact it can lead to some pretty intense situations around the house, because frustrations can run at an all time high.

But you have to make time for yourself. You have to cut away and enjoy the few hours of time during the day that are truly yours. If you're not great on time management, having a baby will put you on the right path.

Why I do...What I do

A lot of times I catch a lot of flack for writing from a male's perspective and addressing some of the needs men want in their relationships with women.

Often times some of the female readers of this blog will tell me that I don't realize what men put women through. They say this so much to the point that they really don't get the message.  They really aren't listening to a thing I'm saying - and I bet they aren't listening to what their significant others are saying either.

See sometimes men are cautious about addressing some concerns, for fear of the potential firestorm that it might ignite. If they speak on a certain subject, then a weekend of planned bliss might turn into a two days of unbearable torture.

So, I use this blog to sometimes discuss some of the issues I have dealt with; or issues that I have observed others dealing with. It creates a safe neutral ground for discussion. At the end of the day all we want is peace and love in our households.

Support his Passion

This past weekend I watched VH1's Love and Hip Hop for the first time. While most of it was a train wreck of smack talking and fisticuffs - the one thing that really left an impression on me was Chrissy Lampkin, the fiancee of rapper Jim Jones.

Chrissy Lampkin and Jim Jones

One scene in particular, was when she attended one of Jim's shows, and how she was happy to be able to attend. When I saw this scene, a light bulb went off in my head.

Chrissy dressed up and came out to support her man. Dolled up in uncomfortable high heel shoes, she rode with a friend to one of Jim's concerts. There were no complaints, and when she saw him on stage she was electrified.

How amazing and simple is that? I think Chrissy actually gets it - rest of her antics on the show nonwithstanding - but in order to be that supportive partner you have to really take an interest in what your significant other is doing. Don't complain about it. Don't brow beat his efforts. Just take an interest in what he's doing.

How many women out there today are actually showing the support that Chrissy Lampkin did for Jim Jones during one of his concerts? How many women are attending work functions or give support to their significant others?

Now not everyone can have a passion that is as (interesting) as Jim's, but women should still cherish what their men do. It would go a long way to helping the relationship flourish.

Response to the Missing K

I recently read a blog over at The Missing K titled - There Be [censored] in these Woods. You can access it here.

The entry spoke of a young woman and how she had been backstabbed by women in the past, who she thought were her friends. She weaved a tale of jealousy and anger throughout the blog instilling just a dose of healthy paranoia.

After reading the entry, my main question was this, do women really feel like some other women are out to get them? Or is this just a tale of someone who has been hurt by bad relationships in her life?

I don't personally know the writer of the Missing K, so I really don't know the answer to that one. I do know that some women - not all women - are out to get other women.

At a past job, I watched a woman who was quite heavyset harrass and make life a living hell for some of the younger more attractive female employees. If one of the females would start talking to another male employee she would barge in and totally take over the conversation. She would often argue and berate the smaller employees for their size, so I can kind of see where the author of The Missing K is coming from.

But here's the ultimate question, how do women get past that. How do some women move past the cattiness and petty jealousy that surrounds them in their lives? Raising a daughter, I'm going to have to figure out that answer. While the author of The Missing K has stated her alternative - I want to go a different route for my daughter - Peace.

Let Sleeping Graces lie

My new schedule is quite ambitious. At six months Grace is now sleeping at 8 p.m. and waking up at 7 a.m.

So you would think my sleep deprivation would be over, right?  Not quite. Now I'm going to bed around 8:30 p.m. and waking up at 3:30 a.m.

When I told co-workers of this new schedule they immediately called me a lunatic. But in order to get things done and have osme time to myself, I have found that getting up for this early schedule actually works.

I'm able to have Bible Study, prepare for my day, workout; take out the dog and maybe even get some gametime in all before 7 a.m.  Now that's a tight schedule. If only I wasn't so sleepy all the time.

The 5th accuser speaks

Adorning spiked shoulder pads - Centino Kemp, the 5th accuser in the Bishop Eddie Long Sexual misconduct case - weaved a compelling story of intrigue and mystery, during an interview with Fox 5's Dale Russell recently.

Kemp reveals an alter ego called Wildchild - a presence that helped him get out of a bad situation and a suicide attempt. He also mentioned an upcoming book called First Lady - which is a tale of Kemp's life being involved with a well known African American Bishop.

The interview doesn't really talk about the alleged relationship with Bishop Long, but rather it addresses the state of mind with Kemp. (We also learned that Kemp received $94,000 from his part of the settlement after lawyers fees were deducted).

I f anything it brings up more questions, as this whole debacle still continues to have steam, even after the settlement. How did Bishop Long meet this young man? Is any of this really true? And when will these stories stop?

We can only pray that this sad state of affairs fades away quickly and that God steps in and heals those who have been hurt by these awful confluence of events.

Enter: Gloria Cain

According to the AJC's most recent edition to the political insider, we might just get our first glimpse tonight of a reaction from Gloria Cain, presidential hopeful Herman Cain's wife, on the sexual harassment scandal that has rocked his campaign.

Gloria Cain has remained a mystery in all this - in the shadows and visibly absent from Cain on the campaign trail even before the harassment allegations came to the forefront. A recent article in the AJC delved deeply into Gloria and her voting record. It tried to paint some picture of Gloria Cain, but perhaps nothing will be more telling than the interview with Greta Van Susteren on Fox news set for Monday at 10 p.m.

Here's a quote lifted from the AJC's story previewing the interview with Gloria discussing the sexual harrassment allegations:

“[Y]ou hear the graphic allegations and we know that would have been something that’s totally disrespectful of her as a woman. And I know the type of person he is. He totally respects women.”

Time will tell if this is able to keep the Cain train moving forward. But more than anything it could shed some light on the enigma that's Gloria Cain.

Stop Snitching takes on a new level in Penn State Scandal

After hearing about the Penn State University Scandal/Cover up, I  immediately felt like something was missing from the story.

After reading a timeline of events published in an article from The New York Times, I didn't realize how much wasn't being reported. This cover-up has roots that are a decade old, and includes remorseful coaches; and a missing district attorney.

The plot is so thick here, and rife with enough twists and turns that it would nigh be impossible to keep up with them all.

This just doesn't stop with Joe Paterno. No - the only reason he's making headlines is because he's the most visible - most well known participant in this alleged coverup. But there are so many others - janitors who walked in on Jerry Sandusky allegedly committing lewd acts on young boys.

To top it all off, this just didn't start a few months ago - or even a few years ago. This alleged abuse has been going on since 1998 according to The New York Times article mentioned above.

What's even more telling, is that  in 1998, then Centre County district attorney Ray Gricar ultimately says no charges will be filed against Sandusky.  In 2005 disappears after a trip to Lewisburg, Pa. His car is later found parked in a lot and his computer and hard drive are found in the Susquehanna River. The twice-divorced Gricar, 59, is never seen or heard from again. In 2005 Lara Gricar, his adopted daughter, successfully files petition to have her father declared deceased.

Unbelievable. I have a feeling, that before this is over, this tale will become even more salacious.  

You're not cool anymore

After reading a Rolling Stone interview with comedian Eddie Murphy, who is now 50, I immediately felt like I was out of touch.

I think the thing that's hitting me most, is that all these cultural changes have happened in the last few years, and I've just kind of stopped trying to play catch up. Seriously. Now, when I take the time to look and see the changes, I'm so far behind...

Like the other day, I went looking for a pair of jeans. My style has always been a relaxed fit. A little baggy, but not so much that they would fall off my behind if I took two steps.

I immediately talked to the clerk in hopes that she could point me in the right direction. She told me that the style was getting away from that. Men now like to wear skinny jeans. 

I'm sorry I'm already a slim dude - NO way am I ever going to wear or put on some skinny jeans.

But that's my point. When did the world suddenly turn upside down. When did such cultural icons in my youth like Eddie Murphy become a thing of the past? When did rappers like Niki Minaj come to the forefront of the hip hop charts?

I don't have any answers. Maybe it's because I outgrew a lot of those things. Maybe it happened when I stopped going to Target every Tuesday to pick up the latest releases. Maybe it happened when I stopped going to the movies every Friday to catch the latest flick.

Maybe it happened when my priorities switched and the most important things in my life were being a good husband and father. Or maybe, I just grew up.

What do Women Want?

A few days ago I asked a few female acquaintances the question - "What do Women Want."

I did this because I've noticed a lot of frustration in relationships - especially with many women feeling men aren't pulling their weight in the household. The conflict comes in because many men feel as if they are pulling their weight and don't understand why women get upset with them. Which often leads to this:

So now you have the set up. The responses were a bit all over the place - but I was able to boil them down in just a couple of sentences.

Women want to be understood and loved on an emotional level, no matter what they’re going through or what phase of life they’re in.

The friction comes when her mate no longer understands her and that translates into her not feeling loved. Unfortunately, there isn’t a list that she can provide for him nor is there some universal answer that applies to all women.

Raising Cain

Yet another woman has come forward alleging that Republican presidential hopeful  Herman Cain has sexually harassed her in the past.

Sharon Bialek spoke during a press conference earlier today and gave intimate details regarding Cain's alleged sexual misconduct .

The following quote is lifted from an AP account of the press conference - detailing what happened after the two finished dinner and were headed back to Cain's office.

"Instead of going into the offices he suddenly reached over and he put his hand on my leg, under my skirt toward my genitals," Bialek said. "He also pushed my head toward his crotch," she added.


This does not bode well for the Cain campaign. No other accuser has given such intimate detail, and it looks as if this is the story that just won't die.

The Cain campaign needs to do something other than ignore these accusations and call this as an attack from the left.  If there was truly misconduct, then Cain needs to admit to wrongdoing and move on. His supporters deserve the truth.

Griffin vs. Whitewater Column

After reading a column in the Griffin Daily News discussing a match-up between the Griffin Bears and Whitewater, I just had to write something.

The writer of the column frames the article with the image of Rocky Balboa against Apollo Creed. But in doing so he inadvertently points out [what he perceives] the socioeconomic differences between Griffin and Fayette. The result is it has parents and students from both teams upset and in an uproar.

The following line can perhaps shed some light on why both teams are so angry:

For many of the Griffin players, it’s their only out. They quench their thirst with blood, sweat, tears and water. Griffin works out hard for fear of losing the only thing it has. For Whitewater players, football isn’t an out — it’s a social supplement to their education, offseason lifting sessions at the spa in designer clothes with their trainer topped off with a fresh iced latte.

See here's the thing, the article is pretty much evoking negative strereotypes. I don't see it as racial by any means, but it does sound offensive in that it pigeon holes both teams into perceived socioeconomic groups.

For Griffin, the article states that football is the only thing these Griffin students have. For WhiteWater students, it says that football is only a supplement to their education and makes mention of them wearing designer clothes and drinking fresh iced lattes.

The problem is, is that the article attacks the teens it tries to praise. Young men who all are playing their hearts out and are passionate about their sport.

Sadly, from what I've heard this is site has tons of responses and has had more than 6,000 views. The good thing that comes out of this is that it has people talking, and perhaps in the future, the Griffin Daily News can be more sensitive in its approach to put together a compelling column.

I need help

Lately, I've been going through some very tough issues in my personal life. For those of you that know me personally, you've probably noticed a change in my countenance.

My face is now scraggly with a beard that refuses to grow completely in.

I've lost weight - the tiny bit of muscle mass that I developed at one point is all but gone.

I have not been to church consistently since August. Mentally, I'm a wreck, and spiritually I'm as thirsty as a straggling soul in the Sahara dessert.

How can I look my daughter or wife in the face with all this spiritual turmoil.

The following lyrics to Kanye West's song Amazing explain how I feel right now.

I'm a monster, I'm a killer
I know I'm wrong, yeah
I'm a problem that'll never ever be solved ...

Pray for me y'all.

House of Cain

Hermain Cain continues to dominate the political headlines.

Stories of his wife's absence in his campaign - and now the National Restaurant Association confirmed Friday that it paid to settle a 1999 sexual harassment claim against Cain.

In my mind, Cain has to turn this thing around and turn it around pretty fast if he ever has a hope of clinching the Republican nomination. But his back pedaling and agitation towards answering these questions is hurting his credibility with the American people.

The latest polls show that he's tied for first place with Mit Romney. The question is, will this start to hurt him, or will he be able to pull away from it.

Let's hope there aren't any more surprises that Cain has hiding in his closet.

Occupy Atlanta has hefty price tag

Occupy Atlanta didn't come and go without a price.

The city is saying that Atlanta taxpayers will pick up a $451,691 tab for more than two weeks of  a dispute between the city and Occupy Atlanta protesters, with nearly three-quarters going to police overtime, according to an article published in the AJC. 

The taxpayers are probably irate.

The whole Occupy movement in my view is a bit misguided. Yes, it's sad that people are unable to find work and are unemployed, but what is the purpose of this protest?

Do protestors just want to hang out until things get better? Do they think that the banks or big businesses will cave into their requests because of their sit in?

I think something else was going on in here. Instead of a protest, it seemed to be more like a gathering of kindred spirits -  those unemployed Americans, who quite frankly wanted to make a statement. There was no clear end goal, but a sense of wanting to belong.

I think that point gets lost in the details and in a lot of the media articles that are floating about. People are hurting, and this Occupy movement - well maybe it gave some a sense of belonging to a workforce and a culture that rejected them.

It's just sad that Atlanta is picking up the price tag though.

Citizen Cain

The Herman Cain saga continues to get interesting by the hour. The Associated Press is now reporting that a third woman considered filing a workplace complaint against Cain over what she deemed aggressive and unwanted behavior when both worked together during the late 1990s, the woman told The Associated Press on Wednesday. 

The AP article states that the accuser said Cain's behavior included a private invitation to his corporate apartment.

Cain is of course denying any wrong doing, but at this point he's waffled and went back and forth so many times, that it's really hard to believe anything that he says. 

I think the real issue with Cain isn't that these alleged incidents happened years ago, but the fact that he initially denied the existence of  the complaints and now  keeps repeatedly changing his story. 

Look, everyone has skeletons in their closet and has been accused of doing something that they aren't particularly proud of. But to hide these accusations when you're questioned on them in such a public arena, in this day and age, is an invitation to court disaster. 

A little honesty would have gone a long way in securing confidence in this troubled time,  that many of Cain's supporters demonstrated during his recent surge in the polls. 

Let the Mud Slinging Begin

Sexual harassment and Herman Cain are two things that really don't seem like they belong in the same sentence, or the same blog for that matter.

 

But it seems as if  two female employees of the National Restaurant Association, which he headed back in the 90s, had indeed made some sexual harassment allegations and there was a settlement.

In an interview with Greta Van Sustren on Monday night, Cain went into detail about the complaint. Here is some of what he said below:


"She was in my office one day, and I made a gesture saying -- and I was standing close to her -- and I made a gesture saying you are the same height as my wife.  And I brought my hand up to my chin saying, 'My wife comes up to my chin.'"  At that point, Cain gestured with his flattened palm near his chin.  "And that was put in there [the complaint] as something that made her uncomfortable," Cain said, "something that was in the sexual harassment charge."

Doesn't seem like much does it. Maybe it's much to do about nothing. Anyhow Cain should be sort of happy that this came out. It shows that he's a serious threat and a candidate not to be taken lightly. Time will tell if he can overcome this.