I need help

Lately, I've been going through some very tough issues in my personal life. For those of you that know me personally, you've probably noticed a change in my countenance.

My face is now scraggly with a beard that refuses to grow completely in.

I've lost weight - the tiny bit of muscle mass that I developed at one point is all but gone.

I have not been to church consistently since August. Mentally, I'm a wreck, and spiritually I'm as thirsty as a straggling soul in the Sahara dessert.

How can I look my daughter or wife in the face with all this spiritual turmoil.

The following lyrics to Kanye West's song Amazing explain how I feel right now.

I'm a monster, I'm a killer
I know I'm wrong, yeah
I'm a problem that'll never ever be solved ...

Pray for me y'all.