Kim Kardashian is my ... what?

When I mention the name Kim Kardashian (sorry not doing links), what immediately springs to mind? If you're a woman reading this, then I implore you to ask your spouse or the man that you're dating this question and I want you to compare notes. You will find the answer to be not only shocking but eye opening and perhaps a window into some men's greatest struggle - sensual images that bombard American society.

Every single day men are flooded with images of what the "ideal" woman should look like, whether it be in the media, or it's just on our way to work. Sex is glamorized (women take heed to this last part) and it is staring us in the face outside of our homes.

Women need to take time and talk to their men about these images and discuss with them what these images mean to them and what they have put into place to not be seduced or adversely affected by the images.

In Job 31:1, Job says “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I look upon a virgin?
One author puts it best and says that there is a cutting, a ceremonial relationship that Job made with his eyes. From the fleshly perspective, the eyes are not going to be faithful. The eyes are not going to cooperate. Knowing this, Job is separating the eyes from the soul of his being, to not allow his eyes to defile his soul.

Everyday some man's soul is defiled because of sensual images. It would be so much easier if women covered up and did not display as much flesh, but that is just not going to be the case here. What we as men need to do is realize there is something wrong with looking and lusting, whether we're married or not.

There is something spiritually wrong when our eyes control our mind and our actions. How many of you have seen a man lose his composure when he sees an attractive woman walk by? How many of you have been that man? Truth be told, I have.

Men have a totally different battleground from women when it comes to this. And trust me women, you might be visual but you will never ever be as visual as man. Sorry, you can disagree but this is just the plain truth. What is sad, is that men often don't talk to their women about these things, because of a feeling of condemnation or disapproval. But this is a spiritual battle that the enemy partakes in, to systematically throw a man off of the path God has chosen for him.

I think first and foremost men need to think of women as sisters in Christ and not sex objects. That puts a whole new spin on the Kim Kardashian question up top doesn't it.

Secondly, men need to be honest with themselves about the thoughts that they're thinking and not push them to the side. Recognize lust for lust and don't call it admiration.

Next, men need not put themselves in a position where they are exposed to this flesh. Going to the Strip Club does not sustain a healthy marriage or relationship whose foundation is placed in God.

Finally men must make a covenant with God and say that they will .... wait for it ... here it comes ... not look at a woman lustfully. This goes against every single message we hear in American culture today.

All men struggle with these sexual images. From the co-worker that dresses provocatively, to images we see on television or in magazines. We all need to realize that this a real battle and we need to work with one another to defeat the enemy.

To Thug or not to Thug;

"I want a man with a little bit of thug in him."
This use to be the one sentence that I use to hate hearing when I was on the dating scene. Whenever I heard this phrase uttered from a potential woman that I was interested in it was instant rejection for me because anyone who is familiar with me knows, is that I am far from being a thug.
And thank God for that.
Merriam Webster's dictionary defines a thug as a brutal ruffian and assassin. More specifically it says that a thug is a violent, brutal person who is often a member of an organized gang.
So my question (and I find myself reflecting on these kinds of thoughts even more so now that my wife is pregnant with our daughter), is why do some women constantly ask for this. Do they not know what a thug is or have they been glamorized by the media into believing that a thug is a bad boy who is tough in the street and can handle his business and take care of his woman.
Yet upon closer examination, when you really look at these men who are "thugs" their lives have fairly little to do with handling business and taking care of their business.
And women, that I know, who are attracted to these men spend most of their lives trying to fix them and rehabilitate them into more productive members of society - thus taking away their thuggish nature. It's pure insanity. The very thing you like about him, you try to change, because you realize that it's not healthy for him to continue on this way.
Some how the media has glamorized these types of men and have brainwashed our youth into thinking these men are "cool." Perhaps its the image of slain rapper Tupac that has redefined the meaning of thugs for us. Perhaps the rapid adoption of the word was spurred on by him and other rappers from that era.
But I digress, and I must say - there is nothing cool about a man who cannot take care of his family or his responsibilities by illegal means. There is nothing cool about a man who's attitude is so negative that he is unable to function in a professional environment.
Thugs by the very definition of what they truly are, are just not able to function in normal society. They are on a very violent path. Now some may disagree with me and say Jamal you're exaggerating. Thugs aren't that bad. And to those that say this I say you really don't know the true meaning of a thug.

Reaching out, no matter how hard it seems

It should be no secret to anyone that I use mass transit to get to work everyday. Normally riding the bus home is a peaceful endeavor. For about 20 minutes or so, it gives me the chance to unwind and focus on other matters.

But such was not the case a few days ago. As I ran to make my connection and head back into Cobb County, I sauntered on to the bus with hopes of having a peaceful trip home. But instead that was intereputed by a young man who claimed I looked at him funny.

"When you came on to the bus and nodded your head were you looking at me," he asked.

Dumbfounded I thought he was talking to someone else. Until he yelled out.
"No you, I 'm talking to you," he said.

My reply was swift and quick - sir I don't know who you are, nor did I say anything to anyone.

It was one of those moments that was extremely tense and others took note of it.

A nearby passenger told the young man - "You sound like one of my high school students - You looked at me wrong and I'm mad at you."

He quickly told her that he wasn't a highschool student and said something about how he didn't like people looking at him funny.

It's a sad day in society when someone can get bent out of shape because they are under the misconception that someone looked at them funny. But what's also very telling is this, it's pretty sad when we don't reach back and talk to those individuals about what's going on with them and why they're so upset.

Let's face it, a lot of people are going through tremendous pain right now. Whether its because of the economy, loss of a loved one, or just the pressures of daily life. The difficult part is knowing how to reach out to those people who're in pain and trying to soothe them. Isn't that wohat Jesus would do?

I'll be honest, thinking about Christ wasn't on my mind when this was occurring. I honestly thought that I was going to have to get into a senseless fight or argument. But what if I had asked the young man what was going on in his life, what if I had reached out to him and started a conversation or a dialogue.

I think all too often we as Christians are afraid to take this leap of faith. Some of us are afraid and honestly and truly are afraid for our personal safety when it comes to speaking out like this. But I think these are the exact times that we should reach out and offer a helping hand, because these are the times when our brothers and sisters are crying out for help the most.

If I could do this all over again, I would have approached him and apologized and asked if everything was ok with him. I would have talked to him about his life and what his dreams and aspirations are. I would try and reach out to him. At the very least, I can still pray for him.