Single, Young and Married (SYM)

     Keisha carefully tucked her coach bag under her right arm. Devon had given it to her for a gift for their first wedding anniversary. Happier times, she said slightly parcing her lips.

     But those are long gone she countered, making her way to the door and quickly snatching her car keys off the shelf.The night was young, and there were people to meet.

     Sounds like the beginning of an ebony romance novel doesn't it? Sadly this isn't fiction, but rather a syndrome that some younger married couples face. I call it the SYM syndrome. Single, young and married.

     Men and women in some households now are living separate lives. They have separate accounts, sleep in separate beds, and have separate friends. Voids or cracks in the relationship that weren't repaired have caused these couples to live apart from eachother, while in the same household.

     At some point the couple has to ask the question what are we doing?

     The sad truth is that now more than ever the idea of marriage is less about being one and more about taking what one can get from the other.
   
     When there isn't anything to take, the other partner goes to find it through some other avenue - whether it's another person or developing an entirely different lifestyle.

     In couples I've talked to that have been successful, you always find the two joined at the hip, but able to separate and become autonomous when they need too. 

     Perhaps it's because they are actually two whole individuals coming together to become one. In the relationships that seem to go through this you often have two halves coming together searching for completion. 

     Or it could stem from the fact that the both really have no vision. That they are simply going through the motions rather than having a positive and definite plan for life. Maybe that's why they find themselves SYM.