Why do men cheat?

Every now and then when I'm riding the train to work I'll hear some young woman complaining about her relationship and how some guy has done her wrong. Pretty much the story is the same, she caught the guy in the act - which means she really found an incriminating number on his telephone, or she found some evidence he left behind that's too graphic to go into detail on this blog.

Whatever the case may be, the guy is cheating for some reason unbeknownst to the female he is involved with. And there is one key question that always comes up.

Why do men cheat?

The more appropriate answer is what kind of cheater was the guy in question. The following is my personal opinion, my ranting if you will. I don't have a degree in psychology and I'm not a therapist of any kind so take that into consideration when reading this.

So you have essentially two types of cheaters. The kind that makes a social connection with one particular woman, and the kind that just has dealings with many different women. The latter usually suffers from some type of sickness, an addiction to sex if you will. But the first is more troublesome, because the first suggests a breakdown in communication between both the man and the woman he's in a relationship with.


Let's go back a bit. We're in a culture now that suggests if it doesn't work you replace it. Our attention spans are notoriously short, we can barely keep a phone for more than a year before it becomes outdated. We're always seeking more. That line of thinking often translates into our relationships as well.

Married men are often the key culprits in this. Imagine a man who has had troubles with his wife for years on end. Never mind that she has had his children; lost her figure trying to raise them; and sacrificed everything so that he could move forward with his career. That's all moot. The culture tells him, that this woman who has devoted his entire life to him can be replaced if she isn't resonating with him emotionally.

And truth be told, she isn't. Her focus is on the children or on keeping the household together. They have both grown apart allowing for separation to come into place. Her frustration over this is visible and it becomes nagging, because she's longing for that closeness. The nagging however, drags the man further away. It pushes him out the door, widening the gap of closeness.

Almost instantly the culture tells him to replace her. Instead of rebuilding that strong bond that was solidified in God's name, he goes out and reestablishes a new bond.

When the affair becomes public he is vilified and automatically everyone takes the woman's side. They ask the question, why would he cheat on a woman that was so faithful to him? Very rarely do they ask what role she played in driving him out of the door. While its true no one made him cheat, the conditions were put into place by both spouses to create an atmosphere where infidelity could occur.

Now, let's go back to the second example to close this up. You know the kind of guys that cheat but are players and have multiple women. I think this pretty much stems from a sickness that some men have. Much like any other addiction, women become the tool of choice. Usually there is no emotional attachment to these women and they're just filling a void in that man's life. Sadly, the woman who he is truly with isn't even aware of this void.

But here's something women can do to offset some of these problems. Women need to particularly pay attention to how their significant other views other females. Is he in the strip clubs a lot, is he really heavy into pornography? How many female friends does he have that you know about?

What gets me, is how there are some women who actively go with their men to the strip clubs and then are surprised when he actually cheats. By letting him go and admire another woman, females need to realize that they're opening the door for temptation to set in.

I'll never forget a conversation with a young woman that I had about letting her significant other go to the strip club. She often said that she had no problem with him going, because once he got back home she would reap the benefits.

Sadly I put my head down and walked away. She just doesn't get it. Or maybe I don't and I've just wasted 10 minutes of everyone's time reading this. Anyhow, these are my thoughts and as always thanks for reading.